I was trying to ignore this – partly because every post here seems to be turning out to be a crap version of some other atheist’s blog post and I never find out until I’ve posted. But, hoping that the Daily Mail Online is too distasteful for the more faint-hearted in the atheosphere, I’ll present this story.
The Daily Mail headline says:

Wife ‘cured’ by prayer can’t get benefits stopped because government computer doesn’t recognise miracles

….With the Government pledging to crack down on “sicknote Britain”, it seems remarkable the 56-year-old received more than £3,500 she did not even want.

(Stop sniggering at the back!!! Of course, she had to withdraw it………)

What? The government has a sceptical computer? And it’s forcing public money on Christians against their will?

The “story”: A woman got disability payments for 6 years after she had to stop working because of the damage to her “hip, pelvis and spine” (Maybe I’m being too pedantic, but aren’t these all more or less the same place?) She got better but didn’t tell the Social Security (/Department of Work and Pensions or whatever it’s called now.) Then she did. They said she needed confirmation from a doctor before they could stop her claim being processed. But now they have stopped it and she has to pay a few months’ money back.

Simple story. Twisted by the Daily Mail and the people involved into a piece of journalistic excrement that manages to claim evidence of a religious miracle, at the same time as insulting the government.

It’s a little out of character for the Daily Mail – the fearless scourge of the dole-scrounging workshy – to be putting a case that it’s somehow the fault of the government that someone claimed disability allowance when they weren’t disabled.

Was it the spirit of Christmas that prompted this surprising change of heart toward benefits claimants? No, it’s the spirit of Christianity or, at least, of one of its odder forms.

Her husband Stuart, 58, a pastor at Hooe Baptist Church, said that he prayed every day after the accident that God would “bring my wife back”.
The prayer seemed to be answered when his wife attended a Christian conference in January last year.
Within hours, Mrs Clarke was able to fold away her wheelchair and stop taking painkillers. When she realised she was permanently cured four months later, she contacted the Government’s Industrial Injury Department to put a stop to her benefits.
… But the department continued to give her £600 a month – and she ended up being paid £3,600 in incapacity benefits for a period when she was in perfect health.

Oh, so she has to pay back benefits to which she wasn’t entitled, then? (I assume her husband is working, unless it’s a voluntary pastor thing. So she probably wouldn’t have got social security benefit at all – which is a lot less than £600 a month if she wasn’t a permanent invalid. But I digress.)

Ignore the legal aspects or even the sequence of events that must have led to this story.

(Picture an embarrassed civil servant – who is trying to get out of a conversation with a woman who says “I’ve now been healed by a miracle” – saying “Oh good. I just need to see some confirmation from a doctor before I stop the computer payments.” Woman phones Daily Mail in horror.)

What about the confused and confusing theology here? The injury apparently had nothing to with god, (unless the deity wanted this couple to get some invalidity cheques and decided to injure her. Mysterious ways, etc…) But the healing itself came directly from their deity. Well, OK, not actually directly, as such. I mean, it took 6 bloody years to work. The pastor can’t be very good at it, can he? Or god just didn’t care.

She was healed after attending a service? Well, a matter of “hours” after attending a service. Granted there is no time too large to be considered a matter of hours, but I’ll take it this as meaning “a day or so.” He’s a pastor and this is the only service she’s attended in 6 and a half years? Seems unlikely. In fact, it seems unlikely that there are any times in their lives that aren’t a matter of hours removed from attendance at a service.

So, where is the miracle even supposed to be here? God had been too busy fixing the results of World’s Strongest Man competitions and Hollywood awards, that he forgot to take all his calls. But one day, he suddenly switched on his prayer-answerphone, heard the 6 year-old message and decided to do what this one pastor asked. (The selfish bugger could have prayed for world peace or dying babies or at least healing a few amputees, if it was going to work.)

A cynic might see it as the miracle of the new anti-Invalidity Benefit moves by the government – very much spurred by the Daily Mail and its ilk – which involve following fake physically disabled people and photographing them walking to the pub or even (in one recent case) running marathons. This sort of activity can cause great stress to mentally and physically ill people but that cuts no ice with the Daily Mail or its middle-England readers.

Miraculous healings seems to soften their hard taxpayers’ hearts indeed. Soften their heads too, it appears.

Child “witches” are being beaten, tortured and abandoned in the Niger Delta, after the local evangelical pastor has pronounced them to be possessed, according to a story by Tracy McVeigh in the Guardian Unlimited.

This possession by a witch can be miraculously removed by the simple payment of money to the pastor. Is this making you puke yet? Just wait till you find out some of the details.

There is a video on the Guardian website. If you find the video too harrowing, there is a gallery of images with some explanations, although that’s not easy viewing either.

Supposedly, we British lack “Nativity knowledge”, according to the BBC report of a survey by religious think tank (Yuk. Sorry about the word). Only 1 in 8 British people know the Nativity story well, according to Theos. Really? As many as that?

What answers did they expect to these questions? 73% “knew” Jesus was born in Bethlehem and that an “angel” appeared to Mary to tell her she was pregnant.

Are they using a wholly novel sense of the word “know”? 73% must be a lot more than the percentage of British people who believe that angelic visitations are even possible.

However, that number falls considerably when people are asked slightly more difficult questions. 48% of people know that John the Baptist was Jesus’ cousin but only 22% that Jesus, Mary and Joseph fled to Egypt to escape Herod’s massacre of the innocents.

The evidence for Herod’s massacre and a flight to Egypt is well nigh non-existent, whatever sources you choose. So John the Baptist was Jesus’s cousin, then? Some sort of ongoing family business, this prophesying lark?

The “knowledge” Theos are looking for could most charitably be defined as “familiarity with one particular version of a myth.” All the same, Theos do a full scale attempt at treating this survey as serious. They weight the results, ffs. They analyse the meaningless results by age and geography… and belief….

Unsurprisingly, Christian churchgoers know the story best with 36% answering all questions correctly, compared with only 5% of atheists.

😀

I like this bit at the bottom of the page, which shows that even Theos have to acknowledge there is dispute over the actual content of the answers:

Although some claim that James could also have been Jesus’ cousin, James does not feature in the Christmas story, according to the Christian Bible, on which this research is based, and so was not deemed to be a correct answer.

Well, I need to start with a disclaimer. Today I had to get the plane to Glasgow and the free newspaper was the Daily Mail. I would never, ever, normally admit to reading this waste of a tree which passes itself off as a newspaper but my choices were limited – I had even read the flight safety leaflet a dozen times.

With a sinking heart I turned the pages of the Mail and I stumbled across an opinion piece by Richard Littlejohn which exceeded the Mails already low standards. Worryingly, as the plane was delayed by about six months (at least it felt that long), I overheard several conversations were other passengers seemed to be broadly in agreement with the nutcase Littlejohn. This might turn out to be long…

Showing that despite his poor writing style and complete lack of any grasp of logic, Richard Littlejohn is the master of the strawman fallacy, he wrote a piece titled “Lyrical terrorist is no Joan of Arc.” It is little more than a terror-inspired rant against the new enemy, so I have no qualms about dissecting it here. In good old Daily Mail style, he begins:

The case of Samina Malik, the so- called “lyrical terrorist”, has become a cause celebre.

According to some sections of the media, this woman is a modern-day Joan of Arc.

Malik was convicted at the Old Bailey of terrorism-related offences and was last night given a pathetic nine-month suspended sentence.

Now, interestingly enough, the case of Samina Malik has had almost no coverage in the (UK) general press or the TV news. Describing it as a cause celebre is stretching the truth to whole new levels, even beyond that normally accepted by the mail.

When he writes some sections of the media are implying Malik is a modern-day Joan of Arc, it seems only the Mail has done this – so while it is true in the strictest sense, it is pretty much crap.

The last bit of his opening barrage is really weird. A “nine month suspended sentence” is not pathetic. It is, if anything, excessive considering the offences this woman has committed. We will return to this issue in a moment.

Is it any wonder Osama bin Laden thinks we don’t have the stomach for the fight?

WTF! No, seriously, what on Toutati’s Earth is he going on about here? First off, if Osama Bin Laden thinks “we” (*) dont have the stomach for a fight, why isn’t he fighting us? Why was the last terrorist attack in the UK carried out by British citizens (are they are different “we” fighting?) almost three years ago? I was under the impression Osama Bin Laden wanted to fight the west (not Britain per se) because we were too soft and liberal… Sound familiar Richard?

But more importantly, what has a nine month suspended sentence for writing intimidating poetry got to do with fighting OBL? This is taking the bogeyman to whole new levels.

Anyway, you might be wondering what terrorist atrocity did this woman (Malik, not Littlejohn) commit, for which a 9 month suspended sentence was “pathetic.”

Most comment has centred upon a book of her poetry in which she fantasises about beheadings.

It is claimed she’s a victim of thought crime, persecuted for what she thinks, not what she has done or was intending to do.

Cue Dr Abdul Bari, the senna-haired, Spike Milligan-lookalike [**] “secretary-general” of the Muslim Council of Britain, who protests she has been criminalised merely for harbouring “silly thoughts”.

Well, yes. Here the “journalist,” cardboard-box lookalike Littlejohn states some facts. It must hurt him to do this. After a few insults at the Times (also a right wing hate magazine which pretends to be a news paper but at least it is infinitely more “journalistic” than the Mail will ever be, so no wonder the semi-literate Littlejohn dislikes them) he returns to the real subject of his ire:

But there’s more, much more. The BBC sent a reporter to the street where she lives in Southall to solicit local opinion.

Inconveniently, and instructively, they found not all her neighbours shared the bien pensant view of a misguided innocent falling foul of a heavy-handed police state.

Malik was described on the BBC as a shop assistant from West London.

Which is true, up to a point. But that’s a bit like describing the failed July 21 suicide bombers as “commuters”.

Wow, the bogeyman is working overtime here. Not all of her neighbours thought she was a wonderful person? My God, Burn the Witch! Why is she allowed on the street if people don’t like her!

It seems this is not all she is guilty of either. The last sentence points to where this is going, you see Malik is no ordinary shop assistant…

What they didn’t mention is that she works at Heathrow Airport, in W.H. Smith.

Ah, now it is clear. She is guilty of being Islamic in an Airport. I can see why Littlejohn is so worked up over the short sentence – she should be publicly stoned to death. It seems that, along with military and police service, now minimum wage shop assistants at a national newsagents chain have to sacrifice any hope of having something resembling civil liberties.

Obviously Mr Littlejohn is so outraged at the thought a person both stupid and Islamic could be allowed to work at Heathrow (a place he claims he knows), he has become blind to the fact that the airside staff undergo the same security screening as passengers. Today, I stood in the queue to be scanned at Heathrow (shoes off, belt off, coat off, no fluids over 100ml etc…) and watched as a dozen or so airport staff went through the exact same process. That is as it should be.

Now, with this in mind, one has to ask what her job has to do with her sentencing? Littlebrain Littlejohn continues, talking about the risks of ignoring her stupid writings:

Would you take the risk? Imagine if the police had ignored it, or dismissed this as the ramblings of a “silly girl”.

And then a couple of days later she’d made fantasy a reality, walked into the crowded terminal with a couple of pounds of Semtex and a box of two-inch nails in her handbag, lit the blue touchpaper and blown herself and God knows how many holidaymakers and airport workers to Kingdom Come.

Well, for once this seems a reasonably justifiable fear. There is the risk that lunatics might turn themselves into human fireworks in the airport. This is not what Malik was charged with. Her status as a WHSmith’s shop assistant makes her no more dangerous than anyone else who would do this. Here, Littlejohn has created the illusion of a greater threat to justify his nasty, small minded, evil attitude.

She was also found to be in possession of seditious material – including the Al Qaeda Manual, the Terrorist’s Handbook, the Mujahideen Poisons Handbook, instructions in the use of a Dragunov sniper rifle, other firearms and an RPG, and a guide entitled How To Win Hand-to-Hand Fighting.

You can’t pick up any of those choice publications alongside your Daily Mail on the racks of W.H. Smith, Heathrow.

Oh no! She had an “Al Qaeda Manual!” Hang the seditious witch. She has obviously not only committed the crime of being Islamic in an Airport, but she has also committed the heinous crime of reading books normally reserved for 15 year old boys.

First off, “Al Qaeda Manual” is meaningless. They dont have an AQ Army. There is no “1st Battalion, the London AQ.” The fact she has an electronic book titled “How to win hand to hand fighting” doesn’t carry any more significance than the fact I have an e-book which claims to teach you how to play the guitar (I still cant play it). While these items may be a bit childish, there is no law against ownership of them. If reading them gave you the Ninja fighting skills they claim, then military training the world over would be pointless.

I mean, does she even own a Dragunov Sniper Rifle? I doubt it, so I can’t really see what danger she poses from possessing the book…

Littlejohn’s whole opinion piece is nothing but nonsensical, hysterical fear mongering. As he draws to a close, Littlejohn shows the depths of the fear which grips him:

There are said to be thousands of people living among us who want to kill us and destroy our way of life.

If Malik isn’t one of them, then she at least gives the impression of being more than willing to help them out when they’re busy.

Our fellow citizens are being wiped out on the streets of London by Islamist headbangers who buy into precisely this kind of dangerous fanaticism.

There’s nothing sophisticated about the useful idiots rallying to support her.

This really does defy belief. It is said by people like Littlejohn that there are thousands of people trying to kill us and destroy our way of life. What solution do these fools suggest to fight them? They suggest we dismantle our way of life to stop “them” doing it. Idiocy. Real, full on, idiocy.

“If Malik isn’t one of them” – note the use of “them.” Very telling use of language to hide the fact that even people like Littlejohn are aware Malik wasn’t really some one out to destroy civilisation.

“Our fellow citizens are being wiped out on the streets of London” – WTF! (Twice in one post!). Where this has come from, Toutatis only knows.

Sadly, once in a while Littlejohn is right: There is nothing sophisticated in supporting Malik. It is simply the correct thing to do if we want to defend our way of life and our society – which is what I thought was the overall goal… There is, however, nothing decent, right, honourable or humane about attacking Malik in the manner Littlejohn tries – it is just offensive and petty. A bit like Richard Littlejohn.

Aside: The Times has an article on this as well.

—

* How dare retards like Littlejohn belittle the sacrifices made by the British Armed forces by claiming it is done in his name… I haven’t seen him in the Tora Bora mountains hunting down AQ…

** The wonderful ad hominem. If it is OK for Littlejohn, it is OK for me and, as such, I will have no problems with occasional, pointless, insults.

I hate to spoil a good story with the facts. (No. I don’t. I love it.) Richard Dawkins net reported a Daily Express story which claimed that overworked nurses were having to move Muslim patients’ beds 5 times a day to face Mecca.This had no ring of truth to me. Basically this story smells of the rabid anti-Muslim tosh that’s contributing to making us all crazier and crazier and more terrified of anyone who looks a bit Muslim. The source – the Daily Express, for a start. Not exactly what you would call a newspaper of record. The content – it doesn’t even make sense. Even if faced with an hysterically devout Muslim patient, who somehow had a pressing need to face Mecca, one bed turn would do the trick.

So this is what the news release on the hospital website says:

Media coverage – 4 December 2007
A number of media have today ran an entirely inaccurate story claiming that we have ordered staff to move Muslim patients’ beds to face towards Mecca. This has stemmed from the above press release. We wanted to make sure that you understand the correct position and this story is completely untrue.
Tracey McErlain-Burns, our chief nurse and director of patient experience, said: “Our statement has been wrongly interpreted. The Muslim Moulana at Dewsbury and District Hospital is holding internal workshops for nurses to help develop their cultural understanding. Nurses are not being removed from their duties to move patients’ beds towards Mecca. Moving patients’ beds for prayer five times a day has not been suggested as part of this workshop and staff have not been ordered to do this.
“In the context of responding to requests from patients and families, particularly when faced with a very ill patient, it is entirely reasonable that nurses consider all practical steps to meet a patient’s cultural or religious needs. This may include adjusting the position of the bed, or escorting the patient to the chapel or faith centre.”

So, it’s basically what they would do for a patient of any religion. You would naturally hope it includes not sending local priests to the beds of sick atheists.

This is tucked on to the end of their page about their 28 November story, Hospital Staff develop Cultural Understanding . This is a dull everyday account of the sort of diversity awareness that well-meaning public bodies provide for staff as a matter of course. The ideas they promulgate might seem a bit naive but – given that a member of the hospital staff was so incensed at this challenge to their prejudices to contact a national newspaper – is clearly well overdue.

Nurses and other staff at Dewsbury and District Hospital are taking part in a training course to develop their cultural understanding as part of The Mid Yorkshire Hospitals NHS Trust’s continued commitment to meet the privacy and dignity needs of all their patients.
The training has been introduced after Catherine Briggs, hospital matron at Dewsbury and District Hospital, met with members of the black and ethnic minority community including patients, local groups and a local GP to find out what staff can do to further improve patients’ experience