Well, I need to start with a disclaimer. Today I had to get the plane to Glasgow and the free newspaper was the Daily Mail. I would never, ever, normally admit to reading this waste of a tree which passes itself off as a newspaper but my choices were limited – I had even read the flight safety leaflet a dozen times.

With a sinking heart I turned the pages of the Mail and I stumbled across an opinion piece by Richard Littlejohn which exceeded the Mails already low standards. Worryingly, as the plane was delayed by about six months (at least it felt that long), I overheard several conversations were other passengers seemed to be broadly in agreement with the nutcase Littlejohn. This might turn out to be long…

Showing that despite his poor writing style and complete lack of any grasp of logic, Richard Littlejohn is the master of the strawman fallacy, he wrote a piece titled “Lyrical terrorist is no Joan of Arc.” It is little more than a terror-inspired rant against the new enemy, so I have no qualms about dissecting it here. In good old Daily Mail style, he begins:

The case of Samina Malik, the so- called “lyrical terrorist”, has become a cause celebre.

According to some sections of the media, this woman is a modern-day Joan of Arc.

Malik was convicted at the Old Bailey of terrorism-related offences and was last night given a pathetic nine-month suspended sentence.

Now, interestingly enough, the case of Samina Malik has had almost no coverage in the (UK) general press or the TV news. Describing it as a cause celebre is stretching the truth to whole new levels, even beyond that normally accepted by the mail.

When he writes some sections of the media are implying Malik is a modern-day Joan of Arc, it seems only the Mail has done this – so while it is true in the strictest sense, it is pretty much crap.

The last bit of his opening barrage is really weird. A “nine month suspended sentence” is not pathetic. It is, if anything, excessive considering the offences this woman has committed. We will return to this issue in a moment.

Is it any wonder Osama bin Laden thinks we don’t have the stomach for the fight?

WTF! No, seriously, what on Toutati’s Earth is he going on about here? First off, if Osama Bin Laden thinks “we” (*) dont have the stomach for a fight, why isn’t he fighting us? Why was the last terrorist attack in the UK carried out by British citizens (are they are different “we” fighting?) almost three years ago? I was under the impression Osama Bin Laden wanted to fight the west (not Britain per se) because we were too soft and liberal… Sound familiar Richard?

But more importantly, what has a nine month suspended sentence for writing intimidating poetry got to do with fighting OBL? This is taking the bogeyman to whole new levels.

Anyway, you might be wondering what terrorist atrocity did this woman (Malik, not Littlejohn) commit, for which a 9 month suspended sentence was “pathetic.”

Most comment has centred upon a book of her poetry in which she fantasises about beheadings.

It is claimed she’s a victim of thought crime, persecuted for what she thinks, not what she has done or was intending to do.

Cue Dr Abdul Bari, the senna-haired, Spike Milligan-lookalike [**] “secretary-general” of the Muslim Council of Britain, who protests she has been criminalised merely for harbouring “silly thoughts”.

Well, yes. Here the “journalist,” cardboard-box lookalike Littlejohn states some facts. It must hurt him to do this. After a few insults at the Times (also a right wing hate magazine which pretends to be a news paper but at least it is infinitely more “journalistic” than the Mail will ever be, so no wonder the semi-literate Littlejohn dislikes them) he returns to the real subject of his ire:

But there’s more, much more. The BBC sent a reporter to the street where she lives in Southall to solicit local opinion.

Inconveniently, and instructively, they found not all her neighbours shared the bien pensant view of a misguided innocent falling foul of a heavy-handed police state.

Malik was described on the BBC as a shop assistant from West London.

Which is true, up to a point. But that’s a bit like describing the failed July 21 suicide bombers as “commuters”.

Wow, the bogeyman is working overtime here. Not all of her neighbours thought she was a wonderful person? My God, Burn the Witch! Why is she allowed on the street if people don’t like her!

It seems this is not all she is guilty of either. The last sentence points to where this is going, you see Malik is no ordinary shop assistant…

What they didn’t mention is that she works at Heathrow Airport, in W.H. Smith.

Ah, now it is clear. She is guilty of being Islamic in an Airport. I can see why Littlejohn is so worked up over the short sentence – she should be publicly stoned to death. It seems that, along with military and police service, now minimum wage shop assistants at a national newsagents chain have to sacrifice any hope of having something resembling civil liberties.

Obviously Mr Littlejohn is so outraged at the thought a person both stupid and Islamic could be allowed to work at Heathrow (a place he claims he knows), he has become blind to the fact that the airside staff undergo the same security screening as passengers. Today, I stood in the queue to be scanned at Heathrow (shoes off, belt off, coat off, no fluids over 100ml etc…) and watched as a dozen or so airport staff went through the exact same process. That is as it should be.

Now, with this in mind, one has to ask what her job has to do with her sentencing? Littlebrain Littlejohn continues, talking about the risks of ignoring her stupid writings:

Would you take the risk? Imagine if the police had ignored it, or dismissed this as the ramblings of a “silly girl”.

And then a couple of days later she’d made fantasy a reality, walked into the crowded terminal with a couple of pounds of Semtex and a box of two-inch nails in her handbag, lit the blue touchpaper and blown herself and God knows how many holidaymakers and airport workers to Kingdom Come.

Well, for once this seems a reasonably justifiable fear. There is the risk that lunatics might turn themselves into human fireworks in the airport. This is not what Malik was charged with. Her status as a WHSmith’s shop assistant makes her no more dangerous than anyone else who would do this. Here, Littlejohn has created the illusion of a greater threat to justify his nasty, small minded, evil attitude.

She was also found to be in possession of seditious material – including the Al Qaeda Manual, the Terrorist’s Handbook, the Mujahideen Poisons Handbook, instructions in the use of a Dragunov sniper rifle, other firearms and an RPG, and a guide entitled How To Win Hand-to-Hand Fighting.

You can’t pick up any of those choice publications alongside your Daily Mail on the racks of W.H. Smith, Heathrow.

Oh no! She had an “Al Qaeda Manual!” Hang the seditious witch. She has obviously not only committed the crime of being Islamic in an Airport, but she has also committed the heinous crime of reading books normally reserved for 15 year old boys.

First off, “Al Qaeda Manual” is meaningless. They dont have an AQ Army. There is no “1st Battalion, the London AQ.” The fact she has an electronic book titled “How to win hand to hand fighting” doesn’t carry any more significance than the fact I have an e-book which claims to teach you how to play the guitar (I still cant play it). While these items may be a bit childish, there is no law against ownership of them. If reading them gave you the Ninja fighting skills they claim, then military training the world over would be pointless.

I mean, does she even own a Dragunov Sniper Rifle? I doubt it, so I can’t really see what danger she poses from possessing the book…

Littlejohn’s whole opinion piece is nothing but nonsensical, hysterical fear mongering. As he draws to a close, Littlejohn shows the depths of the fear which grips him:

There are said to be thousands of people living among us who want to kill us and destroy our way of life.

If Malik isn’t one of them, then she at least gives the impression of being more than willing to help them out when they’re busy.

Our fellow citizens are being wiped out on the streets of London by Islamist headbangers who buy into precisely this kind of dangerous fanaticism.

There’s nothing sophisticated about the useful idiots rallying to support her.

This really does defy belief. It is said by people like Littlejohn that there are thousands of people trying to kill us and destroy our way of life. What solution do these fools suggest to fight them? They suggest we dismantle our way of life to stop “them” doing it. Idiocy. Real, full on, idiocy.

“If Malik isn’t one of them” – note the use of “them.” Very telling use of language to hide the fact that even people like Littlejohn are aware Malik wasn’t really some one out to destroy civilisation.

“Our fellow citizens are being wiped out on the streets of London” – WTF! (Twice in one post!). Where this has come from, Toutatis only knows.

Sadly, once in a while Littlejohn is right: There is nothing sophisticated in supporting Malik. It is simply the correct thing to do if we want to defend our way of life and our society – which is what I thought was the overall goal… There is, however, nothing decent, right, honourable or humane about attacking Malik in the manner Littlejohn tries – it is just offensive and petty. A bit like Richard Littlejohn.

Aside: The Times has an article on this as well.

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* How dare retards like Littlejohn belittle the sacrifices made by the British Armed forces by claiming it is done in his name… I haven’t seen him in the Tora Bora mountains hunting down AQ…

** The wonderful ad hominem. If it is OK for Littlejohn, it is OK for me and, as such, I will have no problems with occasional, pointless, insults.