Well after the doom and gloom which makes up most of the news today, thanks to FSTDT I have found something so funny, I am going to be laughing about it until 2009.
Basically, someone by the name of “Shelby Corbitt” has been prophesing that God told them the rapture would come in 2007. This is what was on the website titled “2007 Rapture – The Official Website.”
God revealed to me two things about the timing of the rapture. God specifically told me 2007 was the year, because I was only going to have from 3 to 3 1/2 years to spread the message after my book was published. It was published in June 2004. Then He showed me that me and my family were swimming in the swimming pool the day before the rapture. The fact that we were swimming immediately made me think summer. I was not sure if God was showing me summerlike weather or if He was trying to tell me literal summertime. Since literal summer ended on September 21st, God obviously meant it would be summerlike weather here where I live in Florida. It is summerlike weather here the majority of the year. This year 2007 we seem to be breaking all kinds of heatwave records. Our unheated pool is normally too cool to swim in past October. But this year we have stayed in the 80’s until now, which is mid December. Our summerlike weather just keeps hanging on. I can not control or manipulate the weather. It is in God’s hands. Once our pool water gets around 72 or 73 degrees we close it down for the year. Even if it stays warm enough to swim all year, 2007 is still the year of the rapture. The prophetic dream God gave me was about the rapture and how the rapture related to my own personal life and the town I live in. The prophetic message that I believe God wants me to share is that the rapture of the church (God’s children) will happen this year 2007!!
Now, I don’t know about you but I am fairly sure that we are in 2008 over the entire globe now – certainly in Florida! Poor old Shelby is still here and there are no signs the Rapture has happened – unles Odin decided that no one was actually worthy (and, given the retards on RaptureReady.com, who can blame him).
The part I like most reads “God specifically told me 2007 was the year”, because when you compare that to the more recent attempt at an apology: (mad-assed colours removed)
I STILL BELIEVE I RECEIVED A PROPHETIC DREAM FROM GOD ABOUT THE RAPTURE OF THE CHURCH IN 1986. I WAS SUPPOSE TO WRITE THAT DREAM DOWN IN A BOOK AND NOT SHARE IT OR RELEASE IT UNTIL GOD TOLD ME TO. I KEPT THAT DREAM TO MYSELF UNTIL JANUARY 2003. I HAD BEEN TERRIBLY ILL. I DID NOT THINK I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE TO RECOVER AND I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. THERE WERE MANY PEOPLE PRAYING FOR ME. A WOMAN FROM CHURCH, WHO I DID NOT KNOW VERY WELL AT THE TIME, CALLED ME ONE DAY AND TOLD ME SHE HAD A WORD FROM GOD FOR ME. SHE SAID GOD TOLD HER TO TELL ME I WAS GOING TO LIVE AND NOW WAS THE TIME TO TELL THE WORD HE HAD GIVEN ME. THE NEXT MORNING WHEN I WOKE UP I WAS 1000 TIMES STRONGER THAN I WAS THE DAY BEFORE. I KNEW GOD HAD TOUCHED ME AND I INDEED WAS GOING TO LIVE.
Well this is interesting. There are only a few things that can have happened here, so I will try to list them:
- God spoke to Shelby but lied through his holy teeth.
- God spoke to Shelby but was wrong.
- God didn’t speak to Shelby who was just delusional. He never healed Shelby and any resultant health was down to more natural causes.
- God didn’t speak to Shelby who just decided to milk thousands of idiots for some money to save having to go to work.
I don’t know what is funnier, the idea that there were indeed masses of fools people who bought the book and donated money to Shelby awaiting the END OF TIMES or the fact Shelby managed to fleece so many people, when if the rapture was coming, no one would have needed the money anyway.
Anyway, 2007Rapture is like the gift that just keeps giving. I can’t do justice to the nonsense and woo it tries to spread, so you really need to visit it yourself. Be prepared to laugh for months. Worth a special mention is the Messages from God blog part of the site, where Shelby gives you Gods Word of the Day. Tears of laughter. Thank you Shelby, may Toutatis have mercy upon your lying, conning, scamming soul.
Sorry, but my compulsive desire to comment on my own posts is over powering.
Among the certifiably insane drive on Shelby’s site, she writes this for the Christmas 2007 entry: (emphasis mine)
It is both insane and funny. Insane because she is so cheerful and hopeful for the end of the world and massive death toll that no normal human being can think like that. Funny because she has so massively anthropomorphised god it is almost beyond ridicule.
Almost…
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Wow thanks for posting on this, because I had no idea about this woman and her book. Bless her naive little heart!!!! I actually do think she was sincere, because predicting an exact date would have been the stupidest con – such an obvious dilemma in the making. I think many people are just like Ms. Corbitt – completely deluded. Yet once a person believes in something illogical, the brain will play tricks and they’ll believe the voices in their poor fucked up head. There’s a fine line between sanity and insanity, you know? Her followers prove there are million of suckers out there…. I don’t get how so many people could so stupid. Maybe I’m the one who’s naive?
Sorry I was going to comment but I’m having trouble absolutely cacking myself…
Matt – thanks for your comment. I agree, it is probable that Shelby is indeed sincere about what she thought.
The problem is, because her mad delusion was about God causing the end of the world, not only did she escape institution in a mental health facility but people fell over themselves to believe her and buy her book.
If she had been writing that the Giants were about to storm the Bifrost bridge and Ragnarok was due in 2007 she would have been (at best) laughed at. Because she was a woman of “faith,” her insanity was taken seriously.
I wonder how she will move on from this. Will she give up totally on the false prophecy game or redefine her “vision from god” to change the dates? It is funny that RaptureReady (fundie paradise) has a sticky thread forbidding any one from even hinting at an end time date. I suspect they are more aware of the problem with the con being blown and dont want to risk a testable prediction. Odd for people of faith.
I know a pastor who predicted the world would end in 2006. He preached about it for several years leading up to that time. I haven’t seen him in a couple of years. I assume he’s recalculating his figures. He’s a really sweet guy, but his end-times obsession is weird, to say the least.
Shelby is just another fulfillment of bible prophecy. For false prophets and false christs would arise in the end of days.
Strangely, there have been countless false prophets and even false Christs over the last 2000 years. This “end of days” seems to last quite some time.
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We are seeing more false prophets and false christs rise right now than at any other point in time in history. So in response to TW I would have to say that bible prophecy is being fulfilled as we speak.
Keaton, again thanks for commenting – however I dont agree we are seeing more false prophets now. The history of humanity is littered with people being punished for this offence. The only difference today is that we see more of the false prophets because we have global media.
There are certainly no real signs that bible prophecy is being fulfilled now or in the past.
Want to hear the lowdown on the Rapture Ready’s “Rapture Index”? Just Google or Yahoo “The Rapture Index (Mad Theology).” Also, “Open Letter to Todd Strandberg” (the RR’s “genius”) is an eye-opener. BTW, the one who composed these also wrote the current bestseller “The Rapture Plot” (Armageddon Books) which is like an “encyclopedia” of the entire history of the famed pretribulation rapture fantasy which was invented by a delirious 15-year-old Scottish lassie in 1830! Clara
Clara – thanks for the comments and a double thanks for the info.
Seeing how TW is living in a state of denial, I’ll give you a list of prophecies that are coming true or have come true. The rebirth of Israel as a nation. The jews returning to the homeland. A coalition between Russia(Magog) and Iran(Old Persia). The apostasy of the present church, Rob Bell and Joel Osteen cough cough. The seas will be roaring(Hurricane Katrina). As in the days of lot so will be the days before the coming of the son of man(Homosexuality is now in your face). Scoffers and mockers, RRS(rational response squad). Ect,ect,ect.
Keaton
I feel impelled to scoff and mock….
Rob Bell and Joe Osteen, who are they?
Hi there, thanks for getting back to me. I am aware that denial is not a river in Eqypt though.
I am sure you are aware of the flaws with some of the assumptions you have made there. For example, Israel has been a nation for decades. You have assumed Russia is “Magog” without any evidence. The present church is little different (in its adherence to scripture) than previous ones (etc).
There have been thousands of false prophets in the last 2000 years, what makes the recent ones special?
As for seas roaring – Katrina was terrible but, again, it is not unique on a global scale, let alone a historical one. Homosexuality is only in the faces of those who are frightened about it.
RRS – immature children have been around for millennia – they out date the bible…
Etc, etc.
Well googling seems to have established that Joel Osteen looks to be Carcetti from the Wire.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rob_Bell
Rob Bell – heads yet another silly church. Seems to be a son of one of Reagan’s cronies and was in an indie band – modelled on REM and talking Heads? (Cant see much comparison)
Said band was oddly called after half the Velvet Underground- not John Cale and Mo Tucker say but Velvet something or other.
Your point is?
In response to Heather, if you feel impelled to mock and scoff it’s because satan has pulled the wool over your eyes to blind you from the truth. If you don’t know of any apostate christians by name, chances are you’re in a world of hurt.
Getting back to the pseudo intellectually superior TW, If you’ve read the bible at all and have understood it’s intrepretation via the holy spirit, you would have understood the bible, leaving no room for skeptism and speculation. Skeptism and speculation is a sign of uncertainty and uncertainty is not an attribute you want have in a time like this, lest the blind lead the blind and they both fall into a pit. Again, the rebirth of Israel as a nation was a fulfillment of prophecy. Russia is Magog simply because the hebrew word translated “north” in those verses refers to far north. The only country far north of Israel is Russia. The major apostate church is the emergent church or the emerging church. I am a reformed homosexual myself, so homosexuals don’t bother me a bit. It’s the homosexuality I have a problem with simply because the bible says in Corinthians 6:9-10 anyone who practices homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of heaven.
This is a wind-up, right?
I will have to make my own true prophecy here.
You will feel compelled to come up with a response to this.
If you do, I think that makes me a true prophet. if you don’t, we see the end of this nonsense. Win, win, really.
Game, set match, I think
Keaton, well you lasted a few posts before you degenerated into uncharitable ad hominems. Well done.
Now, lets establish some of the facts here. First and foremost, I am really intellectually superior to you.
I have read the Bible, in the UK it is compulsory for us to undergo years of Religious Education studies which, when I was at school, pretty much only looked at Christianity. I have read the bible and studied it.
From here you descend into gibberish basing your claims on a weird form of self referencing “evidence.” I assume you can not see the flaw with this, which means you are basically locked into this line of (ahem) thought. I feel sorry for you. There is a wonderful world which is shut off to you because you are too blinkered.
Let us take this bit of madness.
You have taken a bit of information and extrapolated it until it meets the conclusion you want to get and then decide it supports that conclusion. Madness. Remember false extrapolations like this are a form of lying and lies make baby Jesus cry.
If you look at a map, there are lots of countries “north” of Isreal – how do you know the prophecy didn’t mean Estonia, Latvia, Finland, Ukraine (etc)? Simple, you have a pre-determined outcome and you have massaged the prophecy to meet your goal.
Shame on you.
WTF?
Again, WTF was the first thing to cross my mind but then I started laughing. You practice such a kind, caring, loving, forgiving religion it makes me laugh. A mass murderer can be forgiven on their death bed but a homosexual is condemned to hell for ever.
Hatred really makes baby Jesus cry. Shame you (again).
If anybody should feel sorry for anybody it should be TW. All of those years in intense biblical studies wasted. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. I’m quoting the bible when I say always learning and aquiring knowledge but never being able to arrive at the truth. If TW is intellectually superior to me, which might be the case, why then does he not have an understanding of the truth or the bible? It was the simple minds who understood jesus, not the pharisee. You know how to discern the face of the sky, but you cannot discern the signs of the times. An adulterous generation seeks after a sign, and no sign shall be given to it. TW thinks Finland is magog. I can’t and I won’t change his opinion, because he might be correct. TW is not aware of the current state of the church. Again, all knowledge and no vigiliance. TW is fond of taking scripture and ripping it out of context. I am aware of Satan doing the same thing. A homosexual can be redeemed. The apostle paul makes it clear in his epistle that the homosexual must repent of his sin first. To whom much has been given much more is expected. The degree of suffering in hell for the person who has full knowledge of the bible will be greater than the pagan’s.
P.S. I don’t like the title of your blog “who is lying. Corbitt or God?” God is absolute and unchanging. He is uncapable of lying. It is pretty clear that Shelby Corbitt is the liar and false prophet.
Worship me
Worship me now.
I turned out to be a true prophet after all.
I am so enraptured.
Keaton, thanks for coming back – although this means Heather is now a true prophet. I just wish she would email me the numbers for the lottery.
Hey, dont feel sorry for me, send me money instead. I promise to use it on learning more about Christianity. Every $10,000 you send has a 1% chance of converting me to Christianity.
Not wasted at all. It is as much use to me now as all those years intense study of Shakespeare, Music and Art.
Too true. Sadly you miss the irony.
Actually, I suspect you are paraphrasing, but never mind.
I do.
Hmm. Let us think about that for a minute. For a start, it remains true today that the less educated you are, the more likely you are to believe in a deity of some kind. I wonder why that is? I wonder if this religion thing you are talking about was used as a way of coercing obedience out of the masses? Hmm.
Lying for Jesus is still lying and will get you sent to hell. If you really think that I think Finland is magog, I suggest you re-read the post you are replying to.
Which church? The Ethiopian church is doing fine, thanks. Why do you have a problem with it?
Again with the lies! Shame on you. For a follower of Jesus you are happy to bear false witness on a regular basis. Here you are projecting your own flaws onto me. Well done. Where have you seen me quote scripture? I personally find the whole idea of quoting it verbatim tedious and flawed. Each version has its own different interpretations and translations and Toutatis only knows which version you hold dear.
More of your wonderful deity’s kindness. It is ironic that Jesus preached a gospel of love and forgiveness, but after generations of contact with the more “barbaric” northern tribes (not to mention the need to win over the Romans) this has evolved into what we have today. I doubt Jesus would recognise the vitriol filled ranting that some “Christians” pour forth.
It is equally ironic that a loving, caring, god has condemned countless millions to hell simply because they were born (at Gods choice supposedly) in a place or time where the “message” was unknown.
I have no idea why so many people want to worship this cosmic bully, unless it is just out of fear.
Keaton,
Erm, I dont care.
Nonsense. Shelby swore it was true. Prove god is less capable of lying than Shelby.
Your opinions are duly noted.
If God is incapable of lying then he’s clearly not omnipotent which means he was lying when he claimed to be Almighty in Revelations 19:6.
On the subject of homosexuality it’s interesting to look at what Jesus said. For those of you who haven’t read the Gospel of Matthew I won’t spoil it by saying what the twist at the end is, but this is a good bit from Chapter 4. Jesus is in the wilderness and Satan’s there trying to win him over. He offers Jesus everything just to get him on his side and what does Jesus reply? Matthew 4:10:
In the next verse Jesus is serviced by angels.
That’s from the World English Bible. It’s a modern translation based on the American Standard Version of the Bible, so if you don’t accept that translation you’re probably not a patriot. http://ebible.org/web/Matthew.htm#C4V1
What you have to decide is who knew more about Christianity, Jesus or Paul? Paul reckoned Jesus got a lot of it wrong, which is why God had to dictate a lot of the corrections to him.
Regarding in your face homosexuality, maybe you’re looking at the wrong websites? (So many punchlines and so little time)
There is a fallacy in your statement that suggests that the less educated you are the more likely you are to believe in a deity. Steven Hawking, the most intelligent lifeform on the face of this earth believed in intelligent design. I have a problem with the emergent movement simply because they believe all pathways lead to God(Buddhism,Hinduism,Islam). The emergent doctrine is false because they deny scripture and it’s power. Jesus said he was the way, the truth, and the life. And again with the twisting of scripture so it can suit the lies of atheism. Jesus did preach love, but he also preached repentance, if you have read scripture thoroughly. God didn’t create Hell for people, he created it for Satan and his angels. Who said sincerity is going to get you into heaven. For the person who has never heard the gospel of Jesus Christ, they WILL die in their sins. Thats why christians need to take up the cross and preach the gospel to every human on this planet. Fear is a component of becoming a christian. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
Alun, thanks for the comment! As always your humour is perfect! Thanks for the link to the WEB as well – not one I had considered before.
Keaton, welcome back. I appreciate you are getting out of your depth but your persistence is to be applauded.
Interesting. I clearly wrote “less likely” yet you seem to think a single person counts as a disproval. What was it I said about education?
Now, it could also be heavily debated if Steven Hawking is indeed the most intelligent person on Earth – I think you will find that while he is certainly an expert in his field (although there are lots of other physicists who are equally notable), when he moved beyond his field of expertise things change. For example, does Steven Hawking know how to code a PHP/MySQL log on script? Does he know the detailed history of how Athens became a democracy and what sort of democracy it was? Possibly, but he certainly is not an authority on either.
Most theists are regular abusers of the false authority fallacy.
Not true in any real sense. He has kicked around the idea of panspermia, but even then that was more Fred Hoyle. If you read his books (eg Brief History of Time) he is quite open in his disdain for the idea of a creator deity. While it is possible he may have some spiritual tendencies, so what?
Why did God create Satan?
Why is a just God punishing those who were, for example, born before 1AD? What sin have they committed?
Your God is nothing but an oppressive bully. If I said to my wife “worship me or die in flames,” I suspect a divorce would be on the cards, as well as jail time if I tried to follow it through.
Torture and cruel punishments are universally accepted as “wrong” yet your Just and Good God sees fit to place those who are innocent of any crime or misdeed in the worst torture for eternity.
Hmm. Doesn’t sound like any “Good” I would recognise. You really need to go back to the middle-eastern sun god roots of your religion, all this interaction with Nordic gods of war has changed things for the worst.
P.S. I can quote scripture and list prophecies that have come true all day long. It’s your obligation as an atheist to trying and explain why you don’t think their is a God.
Keaton, It isn’t. There is no obligation on me at all. If you wish to convince me belief in God is proper then it is up to you to convince me. Remember everyone alive is born an atheist – we just get tricked into various forms of fantasy as we grow up. For a while people believe in Santa…
There is no god and I am aware of this because I am rational enough to observe the total lack of evidence for a creator deity’s existence. I am also rational enough to realise the logical inconsistencies with the existence of a single deity, and I am aware that most pantheistic religions just make up gods to suit the weather (etc).
Thre is nothing I can say that will convince TW that there is a God. His criteria doesn’t allow evidence. If I were to show him evidence he wouldn’t believe it otherwise. His religion(atheism) requires faith do believe in nothing. Everyone alive is not born an atheist rather a sinner. We are all originally sons and daughters of Satan, but we choose later in life to accept the truth or reject it. Nothing you say will convince me there is no God, and nothing I say will convince TW there is a God.
Fair enough, that’s your prerogative, but why then pretend that you’re arguing based on evidence if evidence is irrelevant to you? It’s your opinion that you’re a son of Satan, but maybe you have a really interesting family tree. Scientists with their ‘evidence’ would argue you had a human father – but what do they know? The ancient Athenians believed they grew from the ground and their evidence was at least as good as yours. If your position is that evidence against your faith can be ignored then why do you need prophecies and scripture?
Regardless, what kind of God would punish you are events utterly beyond your control? I know you said people who never heard about Jesus will have it easier, but have you any evidence for this? Is there somewhere in the Bible which reads “Blessed are those who died in childbirth, for they shall be shall be cooked lightly on Gas Mark Four.” What kind of loving God tolerates gently roasting babies whose only crime was to be conceived? It’s not proof he doesn’t exist, but it is show that if he does he’s not a very moral character.
Keaton – I’ve already shown you that your God, if he exists, has deceived you. Is it not possible you could be wrong about your God in other ways?
Keaton, stop ignoring Alun’s comments.
On the contrary.I just dont think you know what evidence means.
Atheism is not a religion, and only a real fool thinks otherwise. Everyone, when they are born has no religion. As they grow up, adults convince them of one fairy tale or another and they become religious. If people are born sinners then your god is cruel, malicious and unforgiving. Well done.
My oh My….I know I am going to get everyones nickers in a wad over the following statement, but here goes.
Shelby Corbit has not earned one dime from her book, she gives it away without cost. She paid out of pocket for the publishing of this book.
And here is the kicker….I am going to pray for all of you whether you like it or not. I would love to she each and every one of you in heaven where you never die and you live in the presence of our Father in heaven for all eternity.
I hope this post doesn’t cause heads to explode with the shear audacity of me bringing Jesus onto this forum where He is not welcomed as it is quite clear from what I read.
God bless you The founder of your much hated RITA
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Read this and may the HOLY SPIRIT show you THE TRUTH.
(KJV) Mar13:32 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.
At this time, no man (John), not the ANGELS, neither THE SON JESUS-CHRIST, but GOD THE FATHER knew.
(KJV)Rev 1:1 The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John: 1:2 Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, and of all things that he saw.
And now, GOD THE FATHER, reveal it to is SON JESUS-CHRIST, and THE LORD to his ANGEL and the ANGEL, to John (a man), and this man record all things that he saw and WE ALL READ IT IN THE BOOK OF THE REVELATION.
ALLELUIA !!! IN HEAVEN, THE LORD JESUS CALL THAT A TRUE REVELATION !
So we will know… and the time is already set, and now WE KNOW !
God bless
“Founder of Rapture in the Air” (if you ever come back here to read the comments). You are somewhat mistaken over the status of RITA. As Heather pointed out, we had never heard of you in the past, much less hate you.
You seem to imply that praying for us is some form of threat, which I find confusing. All the prayer in the world doesn’t change a thing, so at the end of the day it will only be a waste of your time not mine. Please feel free to pray for anything as much as you like., When prayer actually changes something real (such as a limb grows back) then I may give it more consideration. Until then I am comforted by the knowledge that in every single test, prayer shows no effect.
If Shelly Corbitt has spent her own money on the book, then great. All it means is either God has a tremendous sense of humour and has pretty much jerked her around, or she is delusional. Either way, it was, as always, a non-event. I await the next non-rapture with baited breath.
Paul: Erratic use of capital letters does not lend weight to your argument. Poor spelling on a par with Heather does not make your comments more authoritative. If there was actually something you wanted to say here, then please say it. Copy and Pasting out of context quotes from the bible is not really constructive as conversations go.
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