Oh No! The End Is Near!

I accidentally deleted a comment on the previous “False Prophet” post which pointed to a weird site hosted by Bravenet. Titled “Welcome To Rapture In The Air” it has this blurb at the start: (insane font removed)

This is a Pre Trib Rapture forum and all are welcome who share their love for Our Beloved’s return as He promised.There is no debating on this forum about the rapture or denominational issues.We are here for one another in friendship, love, and prayer as we watch together for Jesus’s soon return.

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12 (NKJV)

Will You Be At The Wedding Supper

Of The Lamb Of God?

Accept Jesus Now As Your Saviour

The Invitation Has Been Sent

Come Dine With Him.

Wow. You just know it is going to be hilarious. It has hundreds of death-worshipping posts longing for the end of the universe and being somewhat self-congratulating about how all the Born-Againers will get the rewards and everyone else will suffer. Not massively Christian in its outlook but then most BAFundies aren’t.

The site is riddled with madness. Because there is so much start staring lunacy, it is hard to know which particular bit to ridicule the most so I have gone for a random post. I clicked on one of the first page topics at random and found this: (only beginning bit repeated here, it is long)

The judgment at Midnight! (THIS MONTH?)

ALL:

The news of “JUDGMENT” is NOT readily accepted by people “of” the world
and EVEN (or maybe ESPECIALLY) Christians! That may be ALL beside
the point as we enter 2008!!!

It is almost like NOW there was provided (for those watchful) a ringside seat
to “see” some things that “MAY” be about to transpire!

Going back “5” (which means “GRACE”) years….

On 2/1/03, I was in bed watching TV (after an operation the day before) and
actually “HEARD” the words on CNN:

…”The Shuttle (Columbia) has COME APART OVER PALESTINE (TX)!”

As we come to that anniversary on February 1, 2008, there are OTHER
“heavenly” (and “earthly”) witnesses going on! As 2007 became 2008, a
“wedding ring” (URL below sent to me by Carol) produced by solar flares
was seen in the heavens:
… [loads of madness]
WARNINGS TO THE US GO UNHEEDED and Bush is about to enter Israel
this month! This month is 700 days from a 7.0 quake VERY NEAR MIDNIGHT,
Israel time (see notes below). The quake was “IN” Israel’s time zone! I’ll let the
reader decide its implications (because I am only watching, as well)!!!

This is so weird it makes your head spin. It is written in that wonderfully breathless style the real “faithful” manage. The writing style, with its interesting use of grammar, is very typical for the cranks who predict every day is the end of the world. The crazy rationale for how this “quake” being near midnight means the world is going to end is priceless. I challenge anyone to read this without either getting a headache or laughing out loud at least once.

On the subject of False Prophets, the wonderful, balanced, truthful news site FauxFOX News has reported that the lying scumbag ever so honest prophet Pat Robertson is unbowed by his previous predictions from God being complete lies and making new ones: (Source)

NORFOLK, Va. — Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson predicted Wednesday that 2008 will be a year of violence worldwide and a recession in the United States, followed by a major stock-market crash by 2010.

Sharing what he believes God has told him about the year ahead is an annual tradition for Robertson.

On Wednesday’s “700 Club” broadcast, the founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network predicted that evangelism will increase and more people will seek God as the chaos develops. Robertson said, “We will see the presence of angels and we will see an intensification of miracles around the world.”

Some people really have no shame. I wonder if they really believe the voices in their head are from God? I know when Toutatis talks to me he sounds a bit like Zeus but I put that down a bad connection as the toaster doesn’t even have a speaker…

6 thoughts on “Oh No! The End Is Near!

  1. WOW….you guys really are prejudice toward Christians. What if you find out in the near future that what your read at this site is true, do you realize that by then it will be to late to repent and all of you will have to go through the tribulation. Of course, you will still have one more opportunity to give your life to Christ, if of course you live through the chaos and destruction that will take place during the 7 years of tribulation. I just thought I would give you a heads up folks, you can either take or leave my advice, but ignoring Jesus and His free gift of salvation you are in for eternal life separated from God in a place call hell………..this will not be a very nice place to be, especially for all eternity.

    Think about it.

  2. What? Prejudiced against Christians? Because we regard this sort of thing as so much exploitative dog crap? (And comically absurd)

    As almost all Christians do…….

    It’s the fact that it turns into “self-fulfilling prophecy ” that makes it scary.

  3. She has a good point Heather. What if you do if you find out that the Mayans were right and the Gods are back in 2012? Note that Mayans stopped worshiping the true gods and defected to a false god their populations plummeted. Ok, some people will argue that was disease and slavery based on the Spanish records. But think about it they’re hardly going to admit it was the wrath of the true Gods are they? It won’t be too late to give your heart to the Mayan gods then, but you’ll be doing it without anesthetic from the top of a pyramid.

    I’m sure Rita agrees you have to take the Mayan 2012 event at least as seriously as the rapture.

  4. Rita, what you have written here is priceless. It is so funny I cant help but respond to it in a new post. Thank you for giving me inspiration.

  5. Pingback: Christian Persecution » Why Dont You Blog?

  6. Rita, Rita, Rita –

    What you fail to understand is that if the religionists are right, and us atheist folk are wrong, we still come out ahead. All the really boring, mindless people will go to Heaven and spend eternity singing praises of the Great Narcissist, while all the interesting intelligent folk will be down in Hell meeting all kinds of challenges, physical and mental, and having a chance to meet the minds of some of the most interesting and intelligent people of all history. And best of all is not having to listen to all that insipid singing and praising and kowtowing. Fundogelicals are like insurance salesman. They only have one thing they can talk about, and they talk about it endlessly, and are willing to bore the living crap out of anybody within earshot with hopeless, unreasoned and unreasoning nonsense (that would be the fundogelicals, since the insurance salesmen actually have facts and evidence and fact-based reasoning working for them).

    But hey, no hard feelings, Rita. In fact, if you get any more arrogant, blind, and intolerant, I’ll see you in Hell. Bring a backgammon board. We’ll have some fun.

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