Hot on the heels of the bizarre weirdness that it Kent Hovind’s “Knee-mails” to the mythical, I found a website which appears to try and parody the always entertaining Fundies Say the Darndest Things site (FSTDT). This site with the oh so funny title “Atheists Say the Weirdest Crap (ASTWC)” (very droll) is entertaining on many levels – although not, I suspect, in the manner its creator intended.

For those who haven’t visited FSTDT, have a look. It is a hilarious insight into the twisted things which rattle around inside the heads of fundamentalist theists (not just fundies either it includes a generous helping of racists and other idiots). There are hundreds of pages, each full with idiotic outpourings written by people who often have little or no understanding of the holy book they are claiming is the TRUTH.

Pitched against that, we now have the ASTWC. This has the sum total of six (count ’em) quotes. Four of them come from Richard Dawkins. There appears to be a forum with some posts (and a section titled: “Politics No liberals allowed”) but every time I try to view them, my connection times out. Obviously the internet has some level of taste after all. Because ASTWC is so, frankly, small, I am more than willing to fisk the whole “quotes” page. What is really funny is not the atheistic quotes he tries to ridicule, but how the site owner tries to ridicule them. It will have you laughing for minutes.

In the hate section, titled “The obvious silliness from Richard Dawkins” we get:

“I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.” [It actually teaches us the opposite of that, as anyone with working synapses can explain]

Blimey. Pure, 100% school ground retort. No evidence or proof of his claims, so he resorts to an assertion and an ad hominem. Brilliant way of supporting an argument. If you are under 10 years old.

“What has ‘theology’ ever said that is of the smallest use to anybody? When has ‘theology’ ever said anything that is demonstrably true and is not obvious? What makes you think that ‘theology’ is a subject at all?” [The Word of God, the story of the crucifixion, and the fact that it is.]

Straight from the department of not understanding the quote you are arguing against. The “Word of God” is meaningless and could easily be argued as already falsified by biblical inconsistencies, transcription errors and the need for human interpretation. The story of the crucifixion falls squarely in the not of the smallest use to anybody and “the fact that it is” is childish nonsense. I am now reasonably sure that ASTWC is written by a 9 year old.

“Personally, I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility.” [Included for the sheer hypocrisy.]

Pointless. What is hypocritical about it?

“I’m not sure this conversation can go any further.” [Rallying cry of the defeated atheist.]

A return to the school playground. Theists use this just as much. Anyway, that is pretty much the limit of the “weird crap” he (or she, but I think he) can accuse Dawkins of saying. Interesting considering how much Dawkins has said, but we now move on to the attack on FSTDT. This produces the longest bit of continual writing on the site:

FSTDT is one of the most truly disturbing websites I have ever seen on the internet. Please don’t visit unless you want to be mocked, ridiculed, and persecuted just because you are a moral person with faith.

“Guess we’re more popular than jesus” – malicious_bloke [Guess you don’t remember what happened to the last guy that said that. Or that Jesus is capitalized. I imagine there is a great deal that you don’t remember, or else never knew in the first place.]

I suspect that the ASTWC author really doesn’t get FSTDT. I am a bit confused here though. What did happen to the last guy who said he was more popular than Jesus? I know loads of people who have said it in the last (say) six years and I can’t think of anything particularly bad which happened to any of them. What is he talking about here? As for the capitalisation bite, well that is just lame. We could allow this to descend into a long argument about internet vs Internet, but that would be equally lame. Suffice it to say, if his strongest argument is the lack of a J at the start of Jeebus’ name he has no argument at all.

Finally, the ASTWC idiocy ends with this priceless gem:

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” – Steven Roberts [Nice cop-out, there Steve. Unfortunately, comparing the God of Abraham to, say, Shiva, is comparing apples to false gods. So you’re not excused.]

Wow. I am going to chortle about this all day. I was going to write a bit more about this, but I have just discovered that FSTDT has already picked up on this line of nonsense, so I will leave it to them to pull this to shreds. The idiocy in the statement is amazing – sadly it also speaks of someone who will never actually understand why they are an idiot.