Long-gone victorian values – of Christmas in the workhouse – are being brought back to life in the 21st century, as described in this Observer piece.
Nice one Anglicans, for making an effort on behalf of these kids. (See, I CAN say good things about religion. Must be the Christmas spirit.)
It’s tough enough working out how to pay for Christmas and choosing what to buy. So, spare a thought for the shoppers who also have to concern themselves with how Christmas-friendly are the stores they visit.
They can stop worrying now. The site Stand for Christmas rates retailers in terms of their Christmas-friendliness.
In my innocence, I assumed that any retailer would welcome the Christmas spending compulsion. But it seems that just being happy to take our money isn’t Christmas-friendly enough. For a good rating, a retailer has to weally, weally wub Christmas.
To be more specific, to meet the approval of Focus on the Family (” a California non profit religious corporation”) a top-rated retailer has to do things like specifically mention Christmas in its advertising or have nativity scene.
My stupid atheist misremembering of the new testament made me think it contained ideas such as it not being possible to serve both god and mammon.
I stand corrected. Focus on the Family make it quite clear that – if you own a shop and you DON’T name check the baby Jesus to up your profits – you are betraying Christianity.
Now, just in case you don’t much like the idea of shopping at places that Focus on the Family are talking up, I’ve assembled a list of shame from the ratings*:
These shops got the lowest Christmas-friendly rating, with more than half of respondents thinking their attitude to Christmas was “offensive”:
Xmas-hating Hall of Shame
I suggest you take your cash there. 🙂
( If you have to buy any presents for children, you may be relieved to know that Toys R Us was only slightly less Christmas-hating..)
* Please note, ratings can go down as well as up. This is just today’s.
As the curator of an office desk biscuit wrapping museum, how pleased was I by Charlie Brooker’s latest Guardian piece and the comments it brought in? (Rhetorical question. The answer is “inordinately.”)
Charlie Brooker was saying that the Lapland Museum that opened and closed recently was his kind of visitor attraction, unlike the slick delights of Disneyland or Alton Towers.
“Santa’s gone home. Santa’s fucking dead.” As theme park slogans go, it’s a winner.
That wasn’t the official slogan. The staff were reducing to yelling it at reporters. This attraction seems to have been a muddy field with a billboard, a couple of Christmas lights and a four hour queue to spend another £10 (on top of the £25 admission) to get your picture taken with Santa.
Charlie Brooker runs with the idea of crap attractions, like the Norfolk’s Collector’s World:
It consisted of room upon room of bizarre, apparently unrelated artefacts. There was a “Pink Room” dedicated to Barbara Cartland, a telephone museum, a collection of antique cars, some sort of hideous-sounding “gynaecological chair”, and best of all, a hall filled solely with memorabilia relating to the actor Liza Goddard, which apparently included pullovers and a mug she’d once drunk out of. Exhilarating and frightening in equal measure, I’d imagine, especially if you’re Liza Goddard yourself.
The commenters could put this half-hearted attempt to create a really rubbish day-out in the shade though.
Step forward:
Unsurprisingly, the Creation Museum gets quite a few mentions. For being rubbish, quite apart from its ludicrous content. Another more appealing comedy Christian theme park was visited by Babykangaroo
This is my favourite of all hilariously bad theme parks: Tierra Santa in Buenos Aires
http://www.tierrasanta-bsas.com.ar/galeria.html
A 10-metre high Jesus is resurrected every half hour and you get to view a waxwork show of the story of “Creation” involving mechanical animals. The rest of the time you hang around “Jerusalem” waiting for Jesus to do that thing again, whilst planes fly scarily low over head as it’s right next to the airport.
Bloody brilliant. I highly recommend a visit.
Obviously, if the word kitsch didn’t exist, something like it would have to be invented just to describe this single attraction.
I don’t know why, but the museum visited by kbfrome appeals to me the most:
….I defy anyone to better The Pilchard Experience, the museum about pilchards in Cornwall somewhere. Three of the shittest hours of my life. And my parents were entranced by every aspect of it
(Don’t book your visit, though. Distressingly, the Pilchard Experience is no more. It’s closed. I googled it. Although Cornwall seems to have plenty of other pilchard-themed attractions)
jemimapiddledick said:
I always fancied a visit to McLeod Cuckoo Land. A theme park based on the 70´s horse riding cowboy law enforcer. Alas, it was just a VIZ creation.
Shame.