Authority figures

The Angel (Archangel?) Rafael has commented on a blog post, here. There must be a good few thousand words in the comment, at least a dozen of which are connected.

Sadly. I can’t discuss what Rafael says as the translation from the angelic language to English seems to have passed through the Tower of Babel on the way. Unspiritual human requirements for comprehension – such as paragraph and sentence breaks – have been omitted. I assume that this is so that nothing as dull as grammar disturbs the flow of inspirition from angel to mortal.

I had to Google the “angelic language” to see if there was supposed to be one. There doesn’t seem to be a name for it. I had a vague idea it was called Adonic or something (based on thinking it’s in a poem by William Blake or Milton. Yes, I know they have less than nothing in common. And yes, it will almost certainly be neither of them and the language will be called elohimic. You’ll find no authority here, sorry.)

Although, no less an authority than one Ashley_StarFIRE seems confident of their knowledge, in a comment on a post about angelspeak on (As so often, the clue’s in the title. If you can find someone to take the bet, you could stake a fair sum on not being on Planet Humanism or Planet Atheism or the atheist blogroll.)

Angels do indeed talk together….. Furthermore, angels speak Hebrew, and their written language (and possibly also their spoken language) is known as ‘Angelic Script’ based on the formations of stars (angels are also referred to as stars) or the Alphabet of the Malachim (Hebrew for angel/Messenger).

Hence, angels speak Hebrew, then? (Or a spoken script – which is pretty impressive even for semi-divine beings, unless script doesn’t actually mean writing in the angelic sphere.)

You have to marvel at the certainty with which Ashley_StarFIRE holds forth on the tongues of angels.

Equally impressively, “GIRLS ALOUD star NICOLA ROBERTS” (a/c the Sun). a minor pop singer, of whose existence I was mercifully unaware until now, is holding forth in the Sun newspaper about crime and punishment. In a PVC catsuit.

The Sun contrasts her with the new Home Secretary, not given to wearing PVC catsuits as part of her job, although the Sun presents this fact as if it reflects badly on her. As they do with the fact that she has a degree from Oxford. Straight from the Sun:

Jacqui Smith
AGE: 44
EDUCATION: BA Philosophy, Politics and Economics, Oxford.
POLICIES: Give yobs voluntary acceptable behaviour contracts.
CAREER: Home Secretary, 2007.
STYLE: Smart suits, but has flashed cleavage in the Commons.
Nicola Roberts
AGE: 21
EDUCATION: St Chad’s High School, Runcorn.
POLICIES: Lock up criminals after first first offence, build more prisons.
CAREER: Joined Girls Aloud at 16 and topped charts.
STYLE: Miniskirts, high- heeled shoes,skintight PVC catsuits.

This is just to give you a flavour of the quality of the standard of political discussion in the biggest-selling newspaper in the UK. You may be confused as to how having an opinion on law and order qualifies you to challenge for the post of Home Secretary. Clearly, it’s so rare for a Sun reader to process a fully-formed thought that having any opinion at all would make Nicola Roberts well worthy of the job.

The actual interview with Nicola Roberts is so masterfully ironic that you suspect it was scripted by a Sun writer with a secret sense of humour.

Talking about a recent particulalrly horrifying murder, she is reported as saying:

And I blame TONY BLAIR and GORDON BROWN. We don’t have tough enough laws — the people that did this to Rhys need to be locked up.

I imagined that murder had already been illegal for quite some time but I may have been misled here. In that case, we really do probably need a law against it. Well done on spotting a gaping hole in the UK legal system, Nicola.

And another one – nothing is being done to lock up people who’ve committed crimes that aren’t against the law:

….They are bound to have committed other crimes but no one can do anything about it because the laws aren’t in place to get them put away…

Throughout this silly piece, the Sun’s suggesting that Nicola has some opinions on law and order, hence is more suitable to be Home Secretary than the implicitly over-educated and non-fun Home Secretary, who probably couldn’t sell a pop record to save her life.

So it’s nice that it says:

Nicola believes youngsters should be taught about politics at school so they learn how important it is in their lives.
She explains: “I was never taught anything about politics….

Who’d have thought it?

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