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{"id":831,"date":"2007-04-24T22:29:35","date_gmt":"2007-04-24T21:29:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.whydontyou.org.uk\/blog\/2007\/04\/24\/dont-buy-ads-when-you-can-get-on-the-news\/"},"modified":"2007-04-27T18:11:47","modified_gmt":"2007-04-27T17:11:47","slug":"dont-buy-ads-when-you-can-get-on-the-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.whydontyou.org.uk\/blog\/2007\/04\/24\/dont-buy-ads-when-you-can-get-on-the-news\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t buy ads when you can get on the news"},"content":{"rendered":"Q. When can something that is not even remotely like something else be considered to be the same as it?
\nA. When it’s a commercial product and the company that owns it can work out a spurious link that will get it a page on the BBC news site <\/a>instead of a couple of lines in a technical journal.<\/p>\nThe BBC claims that Rio Tinto Zinc found a new mineral that was the same as the fictional kryptonite.<\/p>\n
According to movie and comic-book storylines, kryptonite is supposed to sap Superman’s powers whenever he is exposed to its large green crystals.
\nThe real mineral is white and harmless, says Dr Chris Stanley, a mineralogist at London’s Natural History Museum.
\n“I’m afraid it’s not green and it doesn’t glow either – although it will react to ultraviolet light by fluorescing a pinkish-orange,” he told BBC News<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
They could at least get their facts right.<\/p>\n
\n- Kryptonite comes in several flavours, each of which has different effect on Superman.<\/li>\n
- All flavours are harmless to earth beings, whatever they do to Superman.<\/li>\n
- The BBC and\/or RTZ must therefore have tried it out on a captured kryptonian, if they can confidently describe white kryptonite as harmless.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Obviously, this story is just a cover-up. RTZ must have secretly developed some mind-boggling new technologies.<\/p>\n
For a start, they may even have devices to overcome the well-known fact that we can’t recognise anyone in glasses as the same person without<\/strong> glasses. I know that seems absolutely incredible – like telling “I can’t believe it’s not butter” apart from butter, as in the Simpsons – but modern science can achieve some amazing things<\/p>\nThey will then have been able to use this infernally powerful device to uncover the secret alien identity of a mild-mannered farmboy-turned-low-level reporter and see if it injured him. I do hope the researchers were prepared to face the risk it might accidentally turn him into an evil superbeing – as red or black kryptonite did in one Superman film and a couple of episodes of Smallville. I therefore assume that they also devised some previously undreamed-of new containment technology to stop Superman going critical.<\/p>\n
Bravo, genius evil scientists.<\/p>\n