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{"id":3038,"date":"2010-08-02T01:36:36","date_gmt":"2010-08-02T00:36:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.whydontyou.org.uk\/blog\/?p=3038"},"modified":"2010-08-02T01:38:57","modified_gmt":"2010-08-02T00:38:57","slug":"numbers-of-the-beasts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.whydontyou.org.uk\/blog\/2010\/08\/02\/numbers-of-the-beasts\/","title":{"rendered":"Numbers of the beasts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Quite fascinated to find that every post that I read on on Rapture Forms had 225 recommendations. Strange – nay, almost uncanny – coincidence, maybe? Nothing orchestrated about that, clearly,<\/p>\n

More numbers: There are 500 “religious organisations” on Facebook. For the first few pages, these religious organisations don’t even have names, just combinations of dots and dashes. (Must be some esoteric form of morse code that only gods understand).<\/p>\n

But blow me down with a celestial feather. They all have lots of Friends. <\/p>\n

Even if the group name is a dot-dash combo, the picture is a question mark and their entire content is a spam-for-christ by something called st andrews bookshop* (which is a precise description of a few dozen) they still attract Friends numbered in into double or triple figures. It’s hard to find a named group has less than 150.<\/p>\n

For example, a site that announces its name as \/\/, has a description that’s just a cuss word repeated and a couple of posts about mobile phone tariffs being shite has 348 members. (Ok, that one possibly isn’t really a religious organisation.)<\/p>\n

I am forced to concede that the one about voting for Motorhead to be Pope isn’t really a religious group either. Though I might have got the “Lemmy for Pope” idea slightly wrong. (Yes, I’ve found out that “popolo<\/em>” does mean “people”…) A babelfish<\/a> translation of its intro produced this, which appears to make as much sense as most normal religious announcements:<\/p>\n

It tires of the political usual? It tires of politics of moralisti feints and who sermon and marazzola well badly? L’ only alternative is the popo of the Motorhead. you have been always not class? You have always had March or Die? You have always dreammed of aprirti a whorehouse blues? <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

176 people joined this. Maybe it makes perfect sense in Italian.<\/p>\n

Downhearted by the uselessness of babelfish and fearing a door-bursting visit by the security services, I didn’t look at any of the islamic groups. Nor any of the many Indonesian or Eastern European ones. If babelfish makes a worse dog’s breakfast of translating Italian than I could do by guesswork, I don’t want to let it loose on a non-European language.<\/p>\n

So I stick mostly to reading the groups written in English, which sort of biases the sample. But it seems that any religious group on Facebook – real or spoof – gets close to 200 friends. I start to feel relatively very unpopular. <\/p>\n

I see a group called “All Christians take back America” (You might assume that’s the lead in to “….and demand a refund”) 189 Facefriends. This turns out not to to be full of plans to take over America, so much as requests for prayers for various unfortunates. So it’s depressing rather than funny\/frightening.<\/p>\n

Momentary diversion in the form of a post link (from the not-at-all-stereotypically-named Lula May something-or-other**) to www.baghdadprayerpatrol.com but that turns out not to exist. <\/p>\n

Find this on another post there, made by Cathy J some-surname**:<\/p>\n

Satin is really working hard to bring me down. He knows I have God in my heart and he is trying so hard to break me down. …….Please pray that Satin does not win<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I am personally praying for Silk to sweep the board. But Cotton is very durable. So, I guess that I also hope that Satin doesn’t win.<\/p>\n

It seems that the demonic fabric is making headway in Italy, (but in Italian they misspell it, using an A where the word clearly has an I) so that the 181-member group FACCIAMO CHIUDERE IL GRUPPO “SATANISMO RAZIONALE” has been set up to counter it (Bloody babelfish translation again:)<\/p>\n

WE MAKE TO CLOSE THE GROUP ” SATANISMO RAZIONALE”
\nwe make to close this orribile group that idolatra the evil, therefore is against every religion\u2026 participated numerous, makes to close it <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Satin may be so unpopular that it only attracts a hate group but several other everyday items have their own worship groups, each with nearly 200 members: Alcohol; Kinder eggs; White milk (Yes, there is such a thing and, no, I don’t know how it differs from regular milk, which was indeed white when I last looked.. Well I do know, now, it’s the colour of the cap. And 189 people joined this group.)<\/p>\n

I haven’t found any Atheist “religious organisations” yet. Oh yes, contradiction in terms. D’oh. Face palm even.<\/p>\n

*Standrewsbookshop seems to have cornered the market in Face-spamming-for-jesus. The only other spams that appear often enough to be noticeable are for an airline that I’ve never heard of.
\n** See how I am scrupulously half-protecting their identities. Even though they’ve blithely put their full names and photos on Facebook…..<\/p>\n

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