What a disturbing way to find out that your smoke alarm doesn’t work….<\/p>\n

There I am sitting at the PC, ten minutes ago, when the smell of roasting distracts me. Hmm. Pay no attention.\u00a0 The people next door must be cooking.<\/p>\n

Am suddenly sitting in a cloud of thick smoke. Panic. Argh, maybe it’s part of the electrically dubious spaghetti wires that connect the PC up.<\/p>\n

Smoke thickens.\u00a0 Run out into yard.\u00a0 Run back in a again. Drag out any furniture items that might be harbouring some toxic smouldering padding. Jump up and down on them. Run back in and get water to throw on them. No effects. Smoke still thickening.<\/p>\n

Rush about like headless chicken after its tail feathers have been torched. Smoke almost impenetrable. Wide open door isn’t dispersing it. I realise I’ve broken almost every rule of fire-fighting (apart from the one about not throwing water on hot fat.)<\/p>\n

Phew. There’s a piece of solid carbon in the microwave. It used to be a part-baked\u00a0 multigrain roll that some fool had imagined could be end-baked in the microwave instead of the\u00a0 oven.\u00a0 (Yes, I have to hold my hand up, here.)<\/p>\n

The relief.\u00a0 Still, I suddenly see that the smoke alarm that used to deafen the whole street for 20 minutes, at the slightest suggestion of overdone toast , has been silent throughout this mini drama. Murderously silent, even.\u00a0 Even though the only thing I could see through the thick black smoke is the chirpy green light that tells me the smoke alarm is\u00a0 still functioning…<\/p>\n

I’m just out to buy new batteries, then.<\/p>\n